The Foundation of the Family and All of Society
If you want to be a great parent, you need to be an amazing spouse. This is where the grace for family life comes from – the sacrament of matrimony! But so often we forget this and couples spend most of their time and energy on their children because their needs are so urgent. But you can never forget that before you were mommy or daddy, you were a bride and a groom.
Every couple will have times in which love is a decision. In those moments we know it is not your love that sustains your marriage, but it is your marriage that sustains your love. We want to share with you relationship tools, stories from other couples, and give you opportunities to focus on your marriage to make it stronger. Having a vibrant marriage is not always easy, but it is worth it because your marriage matters!
Your Marriage is Always Important
What do we think is important for your marriage?
- Unity between couples is the essential element that makes all the difference. Without it, nothing works. With it, couples can conquer all the difficulties in the world.
- To grow together, you need to be intimate. Learn how to be unveiled with each other – emotionally, physically, and even spiritually.
- Communication is key. Making time to sit and talk with your spouse about important issues and learning how to listen are essential skills in marriage.
- Relationships are built with the material of time. Couples must create space in their lives for daily connections, weekly or monthly date night, and a yearly getaway without the children.
- When you entered into a covenant relationship with your spouse on your wedding day, God entered into your relationship in a permanent, intimate way. Turn to Him!
At the Messy Family Project, we give you the opportunity, tools, and inspiration to grow in love with each other. Take advantage of our downloads, date nights, courses, and our getaways to make your marriage all it can be not just for you, but for your children and even for all of society.
Podcasts on Marriage
Getting on the Same Page
“Its better to be wrong together than right alone” – Mike and Alicia
There are many things that spouses need to navigate in life – finances, educational choices, work issues, in-laws – and for all of these issues there is an “X factor” that makes all the difference – UNITY. Without unity, even the most perfect of scenarios will not bring peace, but with unity there is nothing that life throws at a couple that they will not be able to handle. The question is, how do you forge that unity with each other when you have two different visions of what your family should look like? In this episode, we tackle this difficult question by encouraging couples to “push up”; to look at your life from the 50,000 foot level. Instead of starting with the details, start with the big picture. Those are the conversations that are most helpful. Listen in as we give couples some concrete questions to discuss with each other to build that unity that is absolutely essential to a flourishing marriage and family life.
Find all this and more at messyfamilyproject.org
Dreaming vs. Fantasizing
“Dream big, plan simple, act now.” – Mike and Alicia Hernon
Dreaming is an integral part of living a life to the fullest. But dreams that take us away from our vocation are fantasies and actually detract from living an abundant life. What is the difference and why is it important? Dreaming in the best sense is an essential skill to have. Not everyone is a natural dreamer, but we can all learn to be! In this podcast, we discuss having a Growth mindset versus a Fixed mindset and how that affects our family life. We also give some tips for how to rise above the everyday work that we do and create a vision for your family that will motivate and inspire you to grow.
Find all this and more at messyfamilyproject.org
Dating Your Spouse
“Creating informal rituals when you can connect emotionally is critical in a marriage” ~ John M. Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Dating your spouse consistently is the easiest thing you can do to keep your love alive – and its fun too! We have been challenged recently to spend more time with each other and just have fun. Because our work puts us in each other’s orbit all the time, it can be easy for us to think that we don’t need MORE time together, but we do. Date night reminds us that our relationship must come first because it is the foundation of our family. Listen in as we give some encouragement, ideas, motivation, and inspiration to always, no matter what, date your spouse.
Family Board Meeting Webinar – https://messyfamilyproject.org/our-events/date-night/2023-family-board-meeting-webinar
Interested in Cana90 for your parish or yourself – https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90
Moms and Dads Courses- https://messyfamilyhood.com/
For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/
Family Finances with Jonathan and Amanda Teixeira
“Money touches every aspect of our lives and colors our interactions with others. If we don’t get our relationship with money right, our relationships with others hardly stand a chance.” ~ Jonathan and Amanda Teixeira
Boy do we have a treat for you! One area in which we have always been hesitant to talk about is family finances. But we figured, when you know what you are not good at, you outsource! This is why we are bringing in Jonathan and Amanda Teixeira, founders of WalletWin, a financial-success program and podcast that help everyday Catholics get intentional with money. In 2012, they were $24,500 in debt, but in less than eight months, they had paid off all their loans and closed the doors on debt forever. Since kicking debt to the curb, they’ve focused on saving, investing, and giving, and they’re now teaching others how to do the same. We have found their advice to be very balanced and helpful to couples who desire to learn how to work together and manage their money in a way that brings peace and stability to their home. Listen into this crucial conversation!
A Conversation on Intimacy with Dr. Edward & Beth Sri
“True love involves the selfless pursuit of what is best for the other person, even if it means sacrificing one’s own preferences and desires” ~Dr. Edward Sri
We are so happy to share with you the recording of one of the largest public date nights we have ever had! Our interview with Dr. Ted Sri and his wife Beth was fun, insightful, and, we hope, inspirational to everyone who heard it. Their new book, The Good the Messy and the Beautiful has the same perspective towards family life that we have on our podcast – that life is full of difficulties and trials, but this is the path to joy and true life! The goal of family life is not just to survive, but to grow in holiness. Some of the topics that we cover in this conversation are emotional and physical intimacy, dealing with woundedness in marriage, and why your marriage is the foundation of your home, but also part of the foundation of the Church! Listen in to hear the wisdom of Ted and Beth Sri in our conversation with them.
Why Romance is Essential
“If you want to be a great parent, you need to be an amazing spouse” ~Mike and Alicia Hernon
Often romance is associated with shallow, fleeting feelings, but really, the romance that we share without spouses is a powerful example to our children of the exclusive intimate relationship that only spouses are to enjoy. A kiss in the kitchen or an embrace in front of your children is not only to make them say, “Dad! Mom! Ewww!” but it is to show them the way they are called to love. It is this intimate exclusive love that is the foundation of the family, and the best place for children to grow is within the shadow of the love of their parents. So it is essential that we continue to pursue our spouses and learn how to love them intimately. This is a task that should take our whole lives! And just to make it interesting (or difficult depending on your perspective!) men and women have different needs when it comes to intimacy and we need to be pursued in different ways.
Date Night with Mike and Alicia
When was your last date night? It’s vital to marriage to keep on dating your spouse, and our date nights make that easy, fun and inspiring. Put the kids to bed, set up the computer in your living room, light the candles, pour some wine, and log on for a virtual date night!